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I read your most recent hilarious Substack posting about the bear-suited scoundrel(s) who successfully defrauded the California Department of Insurance. I so wanted to post a comment. I had the comment all ready, which I believe was: Dave Barry you are so funny!!! But?! You won’t take a comment from me unless I am a paid subscriber! Whatever happened to freedom of the press? Free speech? And your minimum monthly subscription fee, is by the way, way way more in Canadian

I have come to realize why my first marriage failed. I was trying to transform my perfectly good young husband into homo domesticus, or at least someone whose habits would have suited me better. I was ignorant at the time. I didn’t know then, what I know now, that each person just wants to be himself or herself, take it or leave it, don’t be always suggesting improvements. Anyway, when I am out on my walks about town, or shopping, I often have opportunities to spot variations

I enter the inner chamber in a state of amnesia. As I cross the threshold, I feel sound of body and mind. In fact, to me, my mind is perfect. My body is perfect. I am happy and full of hope. After I enter, the door is closed and locked. The walls of the inner chamber are a glaring, glossy white. Above is a searing light from a fixture that covers the entire ceiling. There are black steel hooks on one wall, and on the opposing wall a giant mirror. There are no furnishings in t

I was watching a TED Talk the other day in which the speaker reflected on the wonderful experience she had had in founding an organization whose purpose was to do good. Yes—to do good. She reported that it had made her feel wonderful, doing all that good. That was her main point—how good it feels to do good, which is something we have all experienced, to our surprise and delight. But then she went too far. She said that doing good is far more important than making money, beca

Yesterday my cat jumped up on my lap, nuzzled her nose against me for a bit, and then curled up and made herself comfortable. It certainly seems that she loves me. But does she really love me? What is love like for animals? Do insects feel love? I have now looked into these questions, so that you don’t have to. The answer, as to cat love, is: maybe. I have assembled my new knowledge into handy compartments so that you can skim for what you are after. I know you are busy. Does

Have you ever noticed that there are commonly held beliefs that could have gone the other way—beliefs that only work because we all just go along? Take gold. Why did gold get to be such a big deal? It does not turn a lovely green when exposed to the air, like copper. It is not hard, like iron. It is reasonably nice-looking, shines up well—but still. Those ads come on TV, sponsored by the “World Gold Council”—such a full-of-itself outfit—purporting to show sophisticated, young

There is nothing new under the sun. So said the writer in Ecclesiastes. I think a very discouraged man wrote that book of the Bible, but that’s another story. Yet he was right. Google that sentence and it pops right up—still riding high on the algorithm. I was considering our current most celebrated alpha dogs: King Charles III, Warren Buffett, Elon Musk, Bill Gates, Jeff Bezos, and Mark Zuckerberg. Just think about how they got rich. Being the king. This has always been a g

The other day, while I was researching on the internet, I came across a CBC News article aimed at kids. You will never guess what I immediately noticed. It was in giant print. The stuff for adults is in normal print, but for the kids—the ones with the good eyesight—the text is in a huge font. And here I am, at my advanced age—I am the one who could use the giant print. Did they ever really think this through? Is it supposed to be cute for the kids? Or are kids thought to be s

Britain recently announced the inauguration of the King Charles III England Coast Path National Trail, which will allow walkers to completely circle the coastline of England. It will be 2,700 miles long when completed. The trail does not go all the way around the coastline of Scotland or Wales, but—whatever. Just England. My first thought was: how lovely. Wouldn’t David Attenborough be proud? My next thought was: we could almost do that. We have the Pacific Coast on the west,

I had an issue with my income tax return and decided the easiest way to deal with it would be to go to the Canada Services office. I knew there would be a wait, so I took a book—a wonderful one by Alan Doyle, entitled The Happy Land: All Around the Circle in my Newfoundland and Labrador . When I got there, I found easy parking, and once inside the building, there was just one person ahead of me in the reception line. I got in behind him, leaving a respectful distance. Smooth